Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Most Perfect Toy in the World

Do you remember as a kid you saw that one toy that was the most perfect toy that could possibly be invented? Whoever created it took two things that were meant to be together and did the sort of common sense action that passes for brilliance and put them together. For example: Laser Tag. Whoever created that toy had their finger on the pulse of every American boy. Why this toy was not created sooner I do not know. As a little boy I didn’t think it could get ANY better than this. You’re actually giving me a Laser Gun? And I get to shoot other people with this Laser Gun and it’s going to register when I hit them? I get to turn off all the lights in my house and use the furniture as cover? Come here and let me tell you something: pass me granola bars every couple of hours and I will do this for my entire life. Give me my boots, holster, and cowboy hat. Give me a fog machine for my birthday and you will be my favorite person forever. I will put a framed picture of you in the center of The Narrows - I mean, living room.

That’s what’s great about kids. They are willing to take anything and find the element of it that is a game and run with it. Even something that, on a structural level, is based on violence. The violence is not the point. This became plainly clear to me when I saw a commercial for a line of toys for boys. It struck me right off the bat how the creators had set up some of the most compelling aspects of a good story so that a boy could just drop their imagination in and run wild. It’s a big playground. “Captain Zorg was a wise and honorable leader of his people” (Yes! I can identify with that!) “but he was betrayed and banished to the planet Blazkt” (Yes! Ostracized hero facing impossible odds alone!) “he must now gather together a team of rag-tag outcasts and save the universe from evil” (Yes! The Rag-Tag Misfit Band is one of my favorite elements! And saving the universe from evil is the perfect level of conflict!) “with the Spiked Korax Launcher and Azzabax Shield” (Okay, a little bit baited).

It’s just a big game with stakes that we love.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Children Are Coming; Cover Your Face.

A friend of mine posted a picture on Facebook of a little boy coloring at his desk. His mouth was open in this scream/smile - the one that kids do when they’re unexplainably feeling hyperactive and their actions start having the surprising, angular motion of insects. You don’t know what they’re going to do next and they are randomly emitting these piercing little screams as they skip around the room. You are trying to laugh because you think they are having fun, but your hands are coming up halfway to cover your face. 

So this little boy is screaming in that hyper way as he’s coloring and the caption under the picture says, “I FUCKING LOVE COLORING!” It’s pretty hilarious. And she had about 20 comments and every one was either a single or double worded exclamation including the word “Fucking” or an acronym that included the letter “F” to stand for “Fucking”. I decided that the best comment I could get from someone is that I’m “Fucking Hilarious.” If we ever have the “Siskel and Ebert” of our generation their stamp of approval will be “Fucking Hilarious.” “Well, Ebert, I thought this movie was Fucking Hilarious.” “I did, too, Siskel. I also thought it was Fucking Hilarious.”

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Friends are the ocean in which I float.
Music is the mountain upons which I dance.

Life is Passion

Life is Passion

Fiery, smoldering love
that knocks your mind around
like wooden blocks

A great, red lust
that transmutes your muscles into
hard rubber
and has no life in the world
that you know